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SOCIAL BEHAVIOR COURSE (teens & Adults)

Offered in person only, at my Toronto location

Social behavior education gets to the root of many problems:  poor behavior, lack of friends, or difficulties at work & school.  It directly teaches skills which most of us pick up naturally – but not everyone does.

This course teaches how the social world works, and why we need to care. Not everyone understands that when we’re around others, we need to monitor our own behavior.  That’s called self-regulation. 

People who self-regulate can co-operate with others, respect boundaries, and are considerate.  As a result, other people want to spend time with them, which leads to stronger relationships.

There’s also a close link between self-regulation and performance at school or work. Teens who self-regulate can focus on a task and follow the teacher’s plan. Adults who self-regulate can collaborate well and can control their emotions in the workplace.

• Choose to be alone unnecessarily

• Avoid family events

• Avoid communicating with others

• Show lack of interest in the perspective of other people

• Are excluded from parties and social events

• Think only of themselves

• Are reluctant to initiate plans with others

• Are uncomfortable making and maintaining conversation

• Are unable to handle job interviews

• Have difficulty keeping a job

• Have trouble fitting in at school

• Speak mainly to satisfy their own needs

• Disrupt other students’s learning

• Are singled out at school

• Get into trouble at school 

This course teaches clients with social and behavioral difficulties to break through their limits and reach their full potential.  It's a personalized program which I carefully create from various evidence-based methods.  Instead of medicalizing problems and accepting limitations in life, students learn to change their mindset and manage challenges independently.

I teach each student individually, most often in weekly one-hour sessions.  Even for adult clients, it’s best if a family member participates too.  This helps to transfer the skills to everyday life.  The family member can remind the client to apply the ideas they’ve learned.

Sessions are fun!  They include activities and games suitable for all ages.  But at the same time, just like an academic course, each lesson builds on the previous ones.  We begin with the fundamentals and then move on to more specific topics depending on individual needs.

One huge advantage of a personalized program is that we go at the student's own pace.  We move on to the next topic when they're ready -- it's as simple as that.  If a real life situation comes up, and they need my help, then we'll work on practical ways to deal with it right away.

Most of my clients spend between four and eight months with me, but it varies widely.  Some clients enjoy learning at an even deeper level and choose to continue for longer … there's so much we can cover!

The student's areas of difficulty will improve significantly.  It'll feel great when they are invited to social events and included in activities … and when they choose to participate in activities rather than avoiding them.  They'll have much better chances of success at school or in their career.  All of this will change their mood:  they will be proud and happy, and they will have earned these feelings through their own hard work.  There will be much less need to worry about their future, whether they can be independent, and whether they can lead a fulfilling and happy life.

Yes, overcoming obstacles is difficult, and your family needs to commit to no longer avoiding situations or making excuses for behaviors.  This course is not a miracle cure, but if your family puts in the work then you'll see results, and they can be life-changing.

WHAT IS SOCIAL BEHAVIOR, AND WHY SHOULD WE CARE?

• Social behavior is everywhere, and we need to be aware of how we appear to others.

• We have thoughts about people, and they have thoughts about us.

• In every situation, there is a set of unwritten rules of how to behave.

TAKING THE PERSPECTIVE OF OTHERS:

• Failing to follow these unwritten rules gives people negative thoughts about us.

• Social behavior mapping®:  These negative thoughts change the way that they feel about us, and whether they want to be around us.

• Sometimes we cause problems ourselves by breaking unwritten rules.

• We need to learn to think about other people before we socialize so that they will also enjoy the interaction.  What will the other person think, and how will they feel, if I say that?  How will they feel and think if I do that?

• Sometimes we need to follow a common plan as part of a group.  We can’t always think only about ourselves.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:

• Our eyes provide a valuable source of information about what other people are trying to communicate to us.

• We need to look at other people to show them that we are listening.

• When it is our turn to talk, we need to look at other people to tell whether they are interested.  This gives clues about when to stop talking or to change topic.

• Interacting with others involves our eyes, our brain, and our heart.  We also need to respond appropriately to show that we care.

MANAGING PROBLEMS AND BUILDING FLEXIBILITY:

• Zones Of Regulation®:  We can analyze how we feel, and ensure our feelings are appropriate for the situation.

• When we are faced with a problem, our reaction needs to match the size of the problem.

• Each of us has an inside voice, which can tell us either positive or negative ideas.  We need to train it to give us more positive ideas.

• We need to be flexible, rather than getting stuck on one idea.

• If we feel anxious, we can use our problem-solving techniques.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH CONVERSATION:

• Making and keeping friends requires specific skills that we can learn.

• We learn to observe both body language and spoken language in order to understand what people really mean.

• Not all language is literal, and figurative language is often very helpful.

• When we are around people, we need to remember what we already know about them to build a better conversation.

• We ask open-ended questions to generate conversation.  When we communicate, we also provide the appropriate level of detail.

• We stay on topic, and we ask about topics which interest other people.

• We ask follow-up questions and use other techniques to extend and deepen a conversation.

• People have feelings about topics, responses, and tone.